My mother

A short story

Her story was collated by my second brother

Birthplace

Born in Jinsha village about 30 km from Shantou in December 1927, she grew up in a multi-generation house built by her great-grandfather. Imagine a central building that served as the main hall to receive guests with a big courtyard. There were rows of rooms with alleys running off on each side where many families would live.

When young, she admitted that she did not like to study much and often spent her time running around the neighbourhood after completing her chores or taking the buffalo out for walks. During festival days, there would be days and nights of watching Teochew opera. At times, there would be long visits to relatives, such as maternal grandma’s village; which would be some distance away. How did they travel? She said a large part of the journey would be by boat.

Leaving China for Singapore

At the age of ten (or 9 by the Georgian calendar), she accompanied her mother (maternal grandma) to visit her father (grandfather) in Singapore. He was working in Singapore and Malaya (in the early years). Our grandmother had never been to Singapore in those 10+ years. So, it was thought to be just a short visit and without telling grandfather. But this holiday visit by my mother turned out to be a journey of no return to China. She finally visited the place of her birth in 1996; about 60 years later.

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2014: My first trip to Shantou and Chaozhou

Since her first trip, she has been making regular trips accompanied by my siblings and relatives. I was busy with work and family. In 2014, call it serendipity, I decided that it was time to make a trip with her, my brother and a cousin. It was also my first trip to China. Alas, it turned out to be her last trip.

It was one of my memorable trips to see the relatives and places that my mother had been mentioning. I finally saw them. It was nostalgic. What they went through was very challenging — Japanese invasion, the Korean War (my uncle was involved), the Cultural Revolution, China’s reforms and opening up. I will want to bring my family there too; to know and connect the “family’s roots”.

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My mother was an impressive lady who overcame lots of uncertainties and challenges — World War 2, pre-independence and early years of post-independence of Singapore, bringing up children, and challenging family dynamics. It was not easy. The relationship with my temperamental father was difficult at times. She was unconditional and did her best for the family with what she had. She would help others whenever she could. She would send money to relatives in China. She has very good social skills and many have good things to say of her.

There were supposed to be seven of us. The third child (supposedly my second brother) passed away young. There was a studio picture but nothing much is said about him; I only know his name as Chng Keng Seng.

The movies, Long Long Time Ago (我们的故事) Part 1 and 2, depicted the era well. Aileen Tan depicted the role of women of that generation very aptly.

I am sure my mother would have done way better if she had been born decades later in Singapore. She did what she could to the best ability. Hence, I became more appreciative of the challenges faced by her generation and grateful that I was born in Singapore in the 1970s, enjoying the fruits of labour.

Very coincidentally, the lunar birthday of my youngest daughter (her 15th and youngest granddaughter) is born on the same day, same month and around the same time as her; 82 years apart. I will always remember the phone call I made to inform her of the birth of my daughter.