A memorable and pivotal experience that everyone should have: step out of our comfort zone to appreciate the world and understand people
I am a Singaporean and have been living and working in Singapore. I spent several years doing quite intensive regional work-related travel in South East Asia, United Arab Emirates, Saudi Arabia, and Sub-Saharan Africa while based in Singapore. In 2016, I was given the opportunity to work in Abu Dhabi, the United Arab Emirates, and in 2019 in Shanghai, China. I had resisted posting opportunities several times; attributing my inertia to being comfortable in Singapore where everything is familiar and convenient where family and friends are. The change represents my hesitation and resistance.
When we reach out and explore, overseas is a valuable and memorable experience. Living overseas will result in being less myopic, greater awareness and understanding leading to more empathy, greater compassion, love and peace. 🙏
1. Friendship everywhere
四海之内皆兄弟 — 子夏 (Zixia), a prominent disciple of Confucius
When one’s attitude towards others is respectful and courteous, brothers are everywhere.
My social circle was mainly family members, schools, work, and interest groupings. I hardly step out of the social circle.
Once overseas, I had to network to make new friends. Initially, it was out of necessity to know the basics of getting things done, such as renting apartments, buying or renting cars and eating places for comfort food. I went to many social gatherings to network. I got to know many Singaporeans and foreigners from diverse backgrounds that I would not usually meet, such as oil & gas, aviation, civil defence, property development, healthcare, airlines, and civil engineering. They helped me to orient and settle down in the new country and for social gatherings. They provide a wider perspective than ever before.
Being overseas, we help each other and new ones to settle down. The sharings and times together forged strong friendships. They make my overseas stay very memorable; we continue to stay in contact thereon.
2. Not born equal
Randomness, chance, and luck influence our lives and our work more than we realize. It’s more random than we think, not it is all random. Chance favours preparedness, but it is not caused by preparedness (same for hard work, skills).
Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in Life and in the Markets by Nassim Nicholas Taleb
We cannot choose our parents, the country, and the period to be born. However, we have opportunities to strive for a better future and grab the few windows of opportunity that come.
I met many who came to the United Arab Emirates because their countries were not politically stable (Iraq, Syria, Bosnia, Afghanistan) and/or had economic challenges that they uprooted for a better future for themselves and family. They strive hard to overcome hurdles to provide their families with a good standard of living.
In 2016, I just came to UAE and attended a business meeting. We often begin with niceties, asking about our nationality. He said he was from Syria. I paused, not knowing how to continue. Syria was having its civil war. He continued that he left Syria for a few years, his family is in UAE and Alhamdulillah, all is okay.
Every life story told was fascinating and left a deep impression on me. An Iraqi colleague related how his family fled to UAE after the fall of President Saddam Hussein. Holding an Iraqi passport makes him difficult to be accepted in many countries. With his home country unable to go back, he has to make things work out in UAE.
What are the foreign taxi drivers, construction workers and domestic helpers working for? It was a question we pondered among ourselves being overseas. They may visit their countries and families every two years for a few weeks. They do earn more. However, it is a huge personal sacrifice. It is more for the parents, siblings, spouse, and children to have better lives and a brighter future; a responsibility for the better of others.
In Shanghai, I met an impressive young lady in her twenties from Yunan (about 2,600km away from Shanghai) whose parents are farmers. She started as a waitress and became a sales executive. She said that her starting point was at a disadvantage. Either she accepted the fact and be a farmer like her parents or worked hard and strived for a better future. She came to Shanghai to prove herself. When asked how she transited from waitress to sales executive, she said stoically chance favoured the prepared. Despite her starting point, she is very determined to catch up.
It is about survival; they have to work hard to get what many in Singapore take for granted.
3. Embrace diversity
I remember a fellow Singaporean (Indian) who commented bluntly at a social function that Singaporean Chinese, a majority race, lack the understanding of being a minority in Singapore. Many Singaporean Indians born and bred in Singapore are mistaken as Indians from India that sometimes, they may not feel like being in their home country.
Hence, with Chinese being a minority race in UAE — at the workplace and social gatherings, I begin to understand the feeling of being a minority and the importance of embracing diversity regardless of skin colour, hair colour, accents and religion. The world will only become more diverse; hence, we need to be more inclusive.
All great countries are judged by how we treat the smallest among them.
Extracts from George Yeo: Musings – Series One
A unity that is not based on diversity is a brittle one. Unity begins with respect for the individual as a unique creation.
It is important to see Singapore’s diversity as integral. It requires Singaporeans to have big hearts and minds so that we accept those who are different from us as also being part of us. We are one, not despite, but because of our differences.
4. Empathy
Singapore is a small country known for its strict enforcement of rules and order. Everyone goes through the national education system for at least 10 to 12 years. Every male citizen has to serve the mandatory National Service (NS) for 2 years and subsequently be required to serve up to 40 days of Operationally Ready National Service (ORNS) per year till the age of 50 years (for officers) or 40 years (for other ranks). We feel our differences in Singapore. As I work and live overseas, we are actually more similar and consistent; there are much more differences beyond Singapore.
Our different upbringings with our respective education, work, social, political, and economic systems evolved with the development of the country and its governance developed in us to have different beliefs and values systems. Everyone may have different beliefs, assumptions, standards, common sense, knowledge, logic and even the concept of time. They can be very very different. We need to clarify to understand and then be understood. These can add to confusion and misunderstanding.
As a foreigner working overseas, I can better appreciate what is at stake for an expatriate compared to the locals. They have their family with them. They are accustomed to the country compared to their home country. Financially, they have rent, children’s education and loans to support their lifestyle. They have a lot at stake; survival matters.
Many make sure they are in the good books of the bosses and with different approaches. They will work hard to ensure their relevance in the organization. Some hoard information and critical works to themselves, avoid “risky” tasks and projects that will jeopardize their careers and be yes man than say what is right. In organizational right-sizing, foreigners are usually the first affected.
Working with people of various nationalities in different countries also allows a better understanding and sensitivity to race and religion in societies and how stereotypes can occur. The status quo in the home country can be very different in another. It is also difficult to fathom how human beings of different nationalities, races and religions are treated differently in various societies. Be empathetic and open-minded to make friends and understand each other regardless of race and religion.
5. Gratitude
一出国，就爱国 — Zhang Weiwei (张维为), Professor of international relations, Fudan University, China
Professor Zhang Weiwei commented that with the development of China now especially in Tier-1 cities such as Shanghai, people will appreciate China better when they live in another country.
This is very apt for Singaporeans. No matter how well-developed a country like Singapore is and how good the government policies are, people will find it not good enough and unhappy. We take many things for granted and many expect perfection. We lack comparison and empathy for the world at large. The sense of entitlement by the people to the country is high.
Being born as Singaporean is a lottery won. How true! Living abroad provides good reference points to compare and appreciate the different countries and governments. Being overseas, I appreciate Singapore much better and am grateful for being a Singaporean.
“The positive cannot exist without the negative.”
Alan Watts
6. Relationships
Being away gave me a much deeper appreciation of family, relationships, and friendships that we may take for granted. I missed being with the family, the meals and outgoings together, and important moments of the family members, especially during festive seasons and birthdays. A sense of helplessness will hit us whenever there are problems back home. Often, we may not share the challenges faced to let them worry; we would work out on our own to resolve them.
7. Be immersive
When we visit a country as a tourist, we stay in hotels, visit its key attractions and landmarks, buy their local produce and souvenirs, enjoy the weather, and eat the local delicacies. We go and eat like a tourist. We do not interact much with the locals to get to know their lifestyles, culture, the current situations faced by the country and their perspectives.
Living and working overseas, we engage people daily to make good friends. We learn about their history, government, economy, social system and culture at a much more nuanced level. We get to understand and appreciate the local operating environment, cultural nuances and local business practices to be effective at work. There are many opportunities to tour and enjoy the country. All these make it a very immersive experience to understand the country.
8. Appreciate the value of money
I was determined to save as much money as possible for the sacrifices made by relocating overseas alone. It was a sacrifice of coming to work overseas and having the family back in Singapore. The monies earned were not for me and to spend on myself extravagantly.
The kids also have a better appreciation of money. Often, families migrate to Singapore to work; it is rare for Singaporeans to leave their families behind in Singapore to work overseas alone.
9. Opportunity to learn
Being alone means plenty of personal time. I am determined to learn what I want to learn but have been unable to. This was the best opportunity that I should not waste. I have always been interested in investing and want to improve, especially with the savings being built up.
